is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
