just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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