ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
