i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You left your underwear on the fireplace
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
