UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The uberlube is also flammable
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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