Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
