At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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