if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
