maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
can u get pink eye on your cock?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
