Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
