What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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