Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You may now shotgun with the bride
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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