No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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