i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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