I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
