Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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