I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
