I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
