The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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