i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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