im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My breasts were aching with rage.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
