i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
