I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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