you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
