I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
