im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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