I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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