Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
