I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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