i don't like sucking hair
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
PANTIES FOUND
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