I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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