I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
