Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
