you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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