all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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