My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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