I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
