So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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