She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
