Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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