You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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