I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Pooping to opera.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
