Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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