i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
