If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
