turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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