thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
