Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
