The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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