i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
