Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
