I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
