the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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